The Season, 2005. By Rich "The Gaffer" Cowley and others.

The Dorset F. A. have amassed the the most amount of money from fines of all the English counties.
Mr Smith a spokesman for the F.A. said this: "Although for legal reasons we are not allowed to mention the player who has contributed the most of these fines, I am eternally grateful to him, I can now afford to send my children to Oxford University "
The spokesman then drove off in his brand new Ferrari with Personalized plate - "Cowley 1"

11th September 2005
White Heather Hornets 3 -London Tavern 1
Robbins Cup

After arriving at Long Lane with Wes who looked liked he'd run into a car at full pelt (let this be a lesson to you youngsters about the evils of drink (pot kettle...wm)) and John Austin who looked like the car that Wes had run into we were prepared for the battle ahead. I thought I'd arrived at a car rally with the number of twats coming into the car park sideways. I hoped for a crash but it didn't happen!

The team arrived in dribs and drabs with two individuals who shall remain nameless (George and Mike) being not only late, but fucking late! They were promptly promoted to the subs bench. You all know the rules, so dont't take the piss!
We started with a slightly different formation and I was looking to be shot in the bollocks by the press on monday. The majority of play in the first half belonged to the Heather with a number of chances being squandered due to the fine positioning of the post and cross bar! Needless to say we went 1-0 down after Neil Woodward did the river dance on the ball near the goal and the Tavern scored a scrappy goal against the run of play.
The first half whistle blew and we went into the break wondering what the fuck had happened.

The second half started well and we soon equalised through Foxy with an excellent finish. Pressure started to pay for us as we managed to play some neat football keeping the ball and frustrating the opposition. Don't forget it's hard to score when you haven't got the ball! We really started to control the game and with this Foxy put us into the lead. He soon added a third for a superb hat-trick! This was nothing more than we deserved! It was fortunate we were 3-1 up as our slim right-back Matt "Twiggy" Farley called the female lines-person a name that she didn't take kindly to and rightly got sent off! Sometimes we have to have the bollocks to say we were wrong! Even I will! Yeah Right!
This was a good overall performance for the first league game but there's still plenty of room for improvement. We have a large squad with some excellent players but remember you don't guarantee yourself a game each week. I will drop people who don't give me 100% and I won't be pissed about. Paul Nye, Alan Farley and myself put ourselves out for this club and all we ask is some effort in return! I'm sure that because of the number of players we have this year not everyone will be happy but I can't please everyone and for that I apologise in advance but let us remember we are here to enjoy our football and more importantly win the League.

 

   
 

18th September 2005
White Heather Hornets 6 v AFC Bransgore A 0


I arrived at King George V on a lovely sunny day which was ideal for football. I got the kit from the back of the car then realised I'd forgotten the footballs. Not a good start! Don't forget lads always be organised!

The team started arriving,all on time apart from Russell Dyke who was somewhere in Dorset on a bus or so I was led to believe! Due to the fact Russell was late and Matt "I'm not apologising" Farley and Andy Shaw were not available we had a change of line up with Rich Newman in midfield and Marcus "I'll shag anything including my flatmates if they stand still for long enough" Copland in the centre of defence.

We started off where we did last week and started playing some attractive possession football. It took a little while to break the deadlock but it came in the shape of a good finish from Neil Woodward. Neil shortly afterwards added a second. It was positive to see us creating some good chances and I'm sure the finishing will improve. It was annoying due to the overall performance that we lost our way for the last 15 minutes of the first half. We have to learn to concentrate for 90 minutes. Organisation and commitment will help us to win this league but any lapses in concentration will prove costly, trust me!

The start of the second half shows an improvement with us keeping the ball for longer periods of time thus frustrating Bransgore. A further four goals were added to the tally with Matt "Bling" Groves and Warren Doyle getting two a piece. It has to be said Warren's second was an excellent finish but let's not get too cocky. Mike came on to cheer the finish, showed his arse, jumped up and down and got booked! For that he was presented with the Wanker of the Week T-Shirt. Watch out next week to see who will be the proud recipient.

On the whole this was a good performance but let's not lose our concentration. We are only a couple of games into the season and there is a long way to go.

   

25th Sept 2005
V Heritage FC 3-1 win

I arrived at King George V on a lovely sunny day which was ideal for football. I got the kit from the back of the car then realised I'd forgotten the footballs. Not a good start! Don't forget lads always be organised!
The team started arriving, all on time apart from Russell Dyke who was somewhere in Dorset on a bus or so I was led to believe! Due to the fact Russell was late, and Matt "I'm not apologising" Farley and Andy Shaw were not available, we had a change of line up with Rich Newman in midfield and Marcus "I'll shag anything including my flatmates if they stand still for long enough" Copland in the centre of defence.

We started off where we did last week and started playing some attractive possession football. It took a little while to break the deadlock but it came in the shape of a good finish from Neil Woodward. Neil shortly afterwards added a second. It was positive to see us creating some good chances and I'm sure the finishing will improve. It was annoying due to the overall performance that we lost our way for the last 15 minutes of the first half. We have to learn to concentrate for 90 minutes. Organisation and commitment will help us to win this league but any lapses in concentration will prove costly, trust me!

The start of the second half shows an improvement with us keeping the ball for longer periods of time thus frustrating Bransgore. A further four goals were added to the tally with Matt "Bling" Groves and Warren Doyle getting two a piece. It has to be said Warren's second was an excellent finish but let's not get too cocky. Mike came on to cheer the finish, showed his arse, jumped up and down and got booked! For that he was presented with the Wanker of the Week T-Shirt. Watch out next week to see who will be the proud recipient.

On the whole this was a good performance but let's not lose our concentration. We are only a couple of games into the season and there is a long way to go.

I'll see you all next week and once again a good effort!

 
   

2nd October 2005
White Heather Hornets 14 Real Carling Res 0
Nicholas Read Cup

This was an excellent all round performance where we didn't give up until the end.

The goals came from Warren "The Love Muscle" Doyle with 5, Christian "The Coma" Hillman with 2, Craig " Kosher" Phillips with 2, Rich " I can't read and i can't write but that don't really matter cos I come down from the west country and I can drive a tractor" Newman with 2 and one of the goals came from open play and Matt "Bling" Groves with 2.

This game will show us that we will come up against some opposition which we will easily overcome, then we'll come up against teams who will give us a hard time. Let's not take things for granted!

 
 

 

9th October 2005
White Heather Hornets 2 Wellworthy 0
Dorset Minor Cup


I arrived at the fortress not knowing what to expect from Wellworthy as they play in the Weymouth League. I was hoping for an away fixture and a saturday night on the town (just like the old days - only problem is my wife wouldn't let me so i don't know why i even thought about it).We had a change round slightly and Jamie started at left back and Boy George at right back. Matt groves partnered Christian up front and Neil Woodward slotted into left midfield. After about 10 minutes we knew the opposition were going to be better than anything we had come up against so far. I was pleased we stuck to the task and played some good possession football. We finally broke the deadlock with an excellent finish from the Coma and the second goal game from the penalty spot after the tractor boy was up ended. Luke "One pace" Ayrton coolly slotted away the penalty. It was good to see Wes " The Monk" White keep another clean sheet and I'm sure he won't know what the fuck to do when someone shoots at him! Watch this space!

I was especially pleased with my substitutions and i'm thinking of employing the best of three heads or tails each week.

I'll see you all next week and hope to see you all on time! Things are getting better! Let the mighty Hornets march on.

   

16th October 2005
West Park Athletic 1 - White Heather Hornets 6
Wingfields
Division 8

This Sunday saw the return of Robby "Tight Cheeks" Fox to the bench after a period away injured, either that, or he was trying to put some muscle definition on those legs of his!
We had a slight change in formation with John Austin in midfield due to the fact that we could use his pace and shooting prowess! But all in all we started with a team more than capable of winning this game or so i thought.
West Park had yet to win a game and as yet hadn't scored but we were due to put one of those facts to bed. With due respect to West Park they started the better of the two teams and made us look extremely ordinary.

We went into the lead with a rocket of a shot from Matt "Bling" Groves (friend of Luke "One Pace" Ayrton who want's to be known as Luke "The Real Deal" Ayrton. What do you think? One suggestion is Luke "The real deal-do" Ayrton (suggestions on a postcard).

Unfortunately we couldn't keep our lead for long and a spirited West Park equalised. The score remained 1-1 until half-time.

Half-time brought some words of gentle persuasion to try and enthuse our players to increase their levels of output and ability. In other words a good old fashioned bollocking! The second half saw the introduction of Foxy, Warren and Mike Constable.

Things started to improve and we went into a 3-1 lead with two quick goals from Matt Groves (55 & 58 mins). This was shortly followed in the 60th minute by a sublime curling left footed shot from Warren Doyle. The game was secured with two further goals from Rob Fox in the 83rd and 85th mins, one of the goals coming from the acutest of angles. The final score of 6-1 flattered us and a lot of respect should be shown to the way West Park carried on battling!

I'm looking forward to next week when we play Dean Court Supporters in the cup as this should give us some indication of how far we have come this season.

See you next week

The Gaffer.

I only have three comments to make on Mr Gaffer's previous. "Sublime" is an excellent description, I thoroughly enjoyed it and as a result missed the picture - whereas "Acute" is understatement, the last thing I expect when I'm having a fag is for Foxy to scrape a ball off my foot and miss both posts and hit the net. Oh, and I missed the photo. The third - "Half-time brought some words of gentle persuasion to try and enthuse our players to increase their levels of output and ability". I was hurried away from the scene after hearing that "the language is fucking appalling" from one startled gentleman sporting a cheeky grin, then, a man dressed as a bald woman said "Don't listen Rob, it'll offend your ears". I can safely say I have never been so surprised as I was gazing upon Paul Nye dressed in a black leather mini-skirt and a rather fetching boob tube. This however transpired to be an hallucination caused by an excess of alcohol, stimulants and sleep deprivation so I told him to buy me a drink.

   







23rd October 2005
Dean Court Supporters 1 - White Heather Hornets 2
Kings Park 4
Robbins Cup (3)

This Sunday saw us up against Division 1 opposition which was sure to prove a stern test for the mighty Heather! Preparation wasn't exactly brilliant as a number of players made me aware they were unavailable due to pet sitting and flower arranging commitments (Well we didn't need you anyway! Only joking!).

Kings Park on a grey and miserable day isn't exactly the most of desirable places to be and to compound my misery we had a 10 mile hike to the pitch. The team consisted of Wes "The Monk" White in goal, Jamie Yeo at left back, Mike "Constable" Constable at right back, Marcus "copulating anything" Copland and Andy "Strangers on the" Shaw at centre backs, Matt "Bling" Groves, Rich "The cruncher (Carrot)" Newman, Luke "The real deal-do" Ayrton, Jon Austin in midfield and Warren "I get beaten up by women" Doyle and Robby "Tight cheeks" Fox. The game saw the return of Mr Gay UK (about time too -wm) on the bench with the ever reliable George Barry.

We certainly found things a bit different against higher league opposition and took a while to find our feet but due to pure grit and determination we battled every step of the way. It has to be said that up until half-time we hadn't exactly created a bundle of chances so it was decided to change things slightly and move Warren up alongside tight cheeks. The game seemed to become a bit more open and chances came on a more regular basis unfortunately Dean Court had the better chances but couldn't get any shots on target. Cows arse banjo comes to mind! It was almost inevitable when the Heather went into a 1-0 lead through a cool finish in a crowded penalty box by Warren Doyle. Dean Court pushed forward in the hope of an equaliser and this came with about 10 minutes to go. To our credit heads could of gone down but we showed great character and continued to play with guts and determination!

The game seemed to be heading towards extra time until we got a corner in the last minute both of our towering centre backs (Funny Heh!) came up for the corner and I watched in awe as Andy "I've got to be at least a quid now" Shaw lept like a bull elephant and powered in an unstoppable shot from his shoulder! Pure Class! The mighty Heather had created cup history and advanced into the dizzy heights of round 4 of the Robbins Cup! Who next? Who cares! We'll play anyone (Just don't beat us)!

In all seriousness this was a great performance. Let's just hope we can play with the same enthusiasm next week against Ferndown Colts. This is a massive game!

   







30 October 2005
Ferndown Colts 4 - White Heather Hornets 5
KGVPF
Division 8

Ferndown Colts 4 White Heather Hornets 5

This I felt was going to prove to be one of the hardest games of the season so far as Ferndown Colts are a decent side capable of beating anyone in our division! Not us though! This game was never going to be easy and the rainy blustery conditions
didn't help our passing game or Chris Farleys gay boy hair cut! Things couldn't have started any better for us as we went into the lead after a bullet header (Yes an actual header!) from Andy "I'm so fucking quick you won't even see me" Short (I mean Shaw). He's now been put on the transfer list at £1.80, half a pork pie and a jock strap. Needless to say we're waiting for the first offer. Unfortunately we were unable to keep the lead as probably one of the shortest teams we had played out jumped us at a corner. We went into the lead again after a header from Warren Doyle. Unbelievable I know but he did have his stepladder with him! We again lost the lead but went back ahead with lofty Doyle scoring. Ferndown then scored twice to take them into a 4-3 lead. It has to be said that I thought that Copy was unlucky and Wes wasn't! You know what i'm talking about boys.....penalties! It was down to the smooth and sex goddess that is Warren Doyle to equalise with a well taken penalty. Then came the mother of all goals from Mr Gay UK. Even he and his Homo followers didn't know what had hit them and it wasn't a jumbo sausage. Raph Thurlow watched in awe as the exocet fizzed past him almost scorching his knob as it passed giving the mighty Hornets a 5-4 victory.

It has to be said that this was an excellent victory which we battled for from start to finish. Everyone worked their socks off and long may it continue.

Looking forward to next week.
With all my love The Gaffer. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

(Unfortunately "The Gaffers" drugs are too strong...........or not strong enough!!!!!!!!
We all know "Wazzaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa" scored the winner but what the hell!!!
UP THE HORNETS IN ALL DEPARTMENTS!!!!!!!!!!!)

I believe this e-mail was tampered with by Nye before I got it. - Webmaster. xxxxxxxx doesn't look like the gaffer to me. - wm

   

13th of November 2005
White Heather Hornets 7 - Sturminster Rovers 2
KGVPF
Dorset Minor Cup (2)


On this foine day on the 13th of November in the year of 2005 in the year of our lord (Is that ok Rob?) (you're taking the piss now) we met against Sturminster Rovers of the Blackmore Vale league (Where ever that is!). Needless to say we didn't have a clue to how good they were or weren't but that's never bothered the mighty Hornets at the fortress!

As this was the Dorset Cup we were without tattoo from fantasy island as he was away welcoming some new guests. Some you younger persons may not know who he is so this is a homework task which should be completed before sunday. The person with the best picture from the net at sundays game wins a pint!!! Get searching you sad lifes!

This meant a change to the starting line up with Craig Phillips playing alongside Rob Fox. It has to be said that Craig needs to possibly look at his bouffant as this could be restricting his speed due the the massive barnet. He looks like something from the hair bear bunch! Who the fuck's that Ihear you say? Look it up - you'll laugh your bollocks off.

The game started slowly to my annoyance and it seemed we were going to struggle against poorer opposition but we finally broke the deadlock through Hair after 17 minutes then added further goals from Matt "Bling" Groves on 19 minutes and one more 27 minutes from the Hair and one on 28 minutes from Robby "Tight Cheeks" Fox. Sturminster scored in between time to reduce the arrears but in fairness to them they were never in the hunt. This took us into half time 4-1 up.

After Half time we added further goals from the Hair (55 minutes), The bling (68 minutes) and a header from the Hair after several attempts. It should be added that Wes has spent this week on Madam Sins rack to stretch that extra inch after dropping the ball into his own net. His words were "I thought i'd got it!" Well you didn't!

All in alll this was a good performance with an excellent display from the Hair and some excellent finishing. Good effort! We're through to the quarter finals against dextra lightning from the Blackmore Vale league and should hopefully progress further if we play the game in the right frame of mind.

 

20th November 2005
White Heather Hornets 12 -AFC Bransgore A. 2
KGVPF
Nicholas Read Cup (3)

Was it to be another victory at the fortress or were the mighty heather's bubble going to burst? After we finally arrived after a number of bullshit excuses we managed to just about scrape enough players to start the game on time. We started with Hair up front with Foxy, Warren in midfield and the Carrot Cruncher on the bench due to his re-visit to clundy to swap heads!

We had previously beaten AFC Bransgore 6-0 but made sure we weren't going to take this game lightly. We started well and went into the lead after 8 minutes through Warren Doyle after good work by Mike Ridewood. This was soon followed by an exquisite chip by Foxy after 9 minutes to put us 2-0 up. We then started to gain in confidence and started passing and moving the ball well. The next goal came on 24 minutes after the Hair mis-hit a shot from the edge of the penalty area and the goalkeeper dived over the top. Foxy then added further to the total after 28 minutes arriving at the far post to prod home (apparently it's the only thing he's prodded home for a while). The next lucky contestant to get his name on the score sheet was the Bling on 44 minutes firing home from 12 yards.

This took us to half-time and there wasn't really much to be said as we were 5-0 up. It only took us 5 minutes into the second half to add to our tally with "The Carrot Cruncher" complete with new head powered one in off the swede. Then after 59 minutes the ever reliable left foot of Christian Hillman made it 7-0. Then after 64 minutes the Hair permed one in off the barnet. He then grabbed his hat-trick after 73 minutes after running onto a through pass. With Warren Doyle's arsehole twitching like an ornithologist the Hair added his 4th. This was followed after 82 minutes with Luke "The deal-do" Ayrton scoring with a miss-hit homo shot. The scoring was the completed with the Hairs 5th at the back post. It was good to see "The Carrot Cruncher" carry on after a clash of heads and I've heard that he has a replacement available from Uncle Wurzel.

Here's to next week and make sure you wankers are on time with no bullshit excuses.

27th November 2005
Bransgore 4 White Heather 0
Robbins Cup

This was to prove a greater test than I anticipated against a side who after a few minutes of the game were good but not beyond the realms of being beaten. Unfortuantely we were never in the game in the first half and conceeded 3 sloppy goals. The referee had some strange ideas but we must learn to concentrate on our own games rather than arguing with the ref. We are all human and everyone makes mistakes! After a constructive discussion at half-time our play improved but we still managed to conceed a further goal and unfortunately couldn't penetrate their defence - this being a problem that Foxy and Warren have been experiencing. Any way that's enough of this disappointment!

Luke I'm sure is pleased that because I was going to take a pound off of the subs for every goal conceeded (alledgedly) you all owe me an extra £4 next week and if you can't pay "The Real Deal-Do" will!

Lets look forward to the next three weeks as this is a very important time for us as we play in the Dorset Minor Cup, Nicholas Read Cup and AFC Hewitt who are top of the table. This could be make or break!

Any idea's for the Christmas do? We can go to For Your Eyes Only but I must wait outside!

Looking forward to next week.

The Gaffer.

 

4th December 2005
White Heather Hornets 2 London Tavern 1
Nicholas Read Cup

This was to prove to be an important game in our season. After the disappointing yet not too worrying exit from the Robbins cup I was keen to see us get back on track and win in a competition I feel we can get to the final.

I arrived bright and early to put up the nets and sort out the kit. Our players arrived in dribs and drabs with me receiving phone calls and text messages with various excuses of why people were late. Let's be honest there was probably only one reason you were late and that was because you were strumming the purple headed custard chucker!

After we kicked off it soon became evident that the London Tavern side were much improved since we met them at Long Lane earlier in the season. It took us a while to find any kind of rhythm but we finally went into the lead with a well taken goal from the speedster they call Mike Ridewood. Hopefully by the way we haven't lost him to love or the husband of the bird he's shagging! Coppy doesn't know her does he? We went into half time 1-0 up and not in too much trouble.

The second half started and I felt it was important for us to get a second to take the pressure off a bit. This came unbelievably in the form of the lateral jogger himself the sex god they call Coppy. It was a cool finish which is more than can be said of his goal celebration after he turned in pure jubilation and excitement and ran straight into the hair. This was to prove an important strike as London Tavern scored a late consolation.

The final whistle blew and the mighty hornets marched into the next round!

Let's look forward to next weeks game in the Dorset Minor Cup and hope we continue on our quest for silverware!

All the best

The Gaffer

White Heather Hornets 8 Dextra Lighting 0
Dorset Minor Cup 11/12/05

Due to the iminent arrival of our daughter who was born on the 12th of
December I was unable to attend the cup game. The team was left in the more than capable hands of Big Al who after phoning him on two or three occasions told me not to worry. I can't comment on the game but i'm sure you were all brilliant!

The scorers were Mike Ridewood 3, Rob Fox 1, Chris Hillman 1, Luke Ayrton 2 and Matt groves 1.

AFC Hewitt 3 White Heather Hornets 3
League 18/12/05

The game was the last of the year and coinsided the day after the Hornets Christmas do in Bournemouth. It has to be said you were all SHIT and this was the worst game we had played all season! It was only down to the fact that the opposing centre forward couldn't it a cow's arse with a banjo that we didn't lose! Our scorers were Chris Farley, Craig Phillips and Rob Fox. I won't make any further comment than Rubbish!

Westside Res 1 White Heather Hornets 7
League 08/01/06

I was hoping this was going to be an imrovement after our last display and i'm pleased to say i was plesantly suprised! This was the Hornets of old with some excellent football being played and an absolute dream to watch!
We went into the lead after 5 minutes after a cool finish from Rob Fox. He
soon added a second with a great lob after 14 minutes. This seemed to settle us and we started to make the opposition struggle.
We went further ahead after Matt Groves followed up a decent shot to tuck away the rebound after 21 minutes.
The next goal came just before the break from an unlikely source Constable Cuntstubble with a mistimed shinner shot after 43 minutes.

After half-time and a couple of changes we took a while to settle down but added to oue tally through Rich "Wurzel" Newman with a great free kick after 54 minutes putiing us 5-0 up. To there credit Westside never gave up and pulled one back.

The Hornets continued the relentless push forward and added two further
goals through a great chip from 18 yards out from the Hair after 83 minutes and a penalty after 89 minutes from the Monk.

A great performance lad's! Let's hope we can take this into next weeks
semi-final!

White Heather Hornets 8 - J P Morgan 0
22 January 2006
League


Not an ideal start to the morning's proceedings with Mr Constable phoning up to tell me he had only just left at 10am and when he turned up puking his bollocks up in the goal mouth! Then we had the Farley boy's (Dumber and Dumber) who couldn't get there sorry arses out of bed and had to be woken up! with that apart the game commenced under the control of Tony Brown who had an excellent game. We went into the lead after a cross shot from Craig Phillips. The lead was soon doubled after 10 minutes with Craig Phillips prodding home after goalmouth melle. The hair was looking to increase his league tally of two until today. This doubled his tally as he looked to pull away in the goalscoring stakes. After 14 minutes Matty Glitter scored with an excellent finish then we went into a period of play up until after half time losing our way somewhat. It was left until the 53rd minute when the Hair completed his hat trick and made the score 4-0. Matty Glitter then added a wonder goal much to the delight of his dad on the sidelines. Actually he crossed and the keeper missed it! Craig then made it 6-0 after good work from Matty G after 78 minutes. Further goals were scored by Christian Hillman after 82 minutes and a shinned effort by Chris Farley after 87 minutes. All in all a good effort and result. Let's hope we can continue next week and the Monk is fit to return. I'm sure you all miss him especially Mike!
All the best.
The gaffer.

PSC Lymington 3 White Heather Hornets 2
January 29th 2006

This was to be an important game in the hornets season but unfortunately it proved to be a day of bad luck and indifferent refereeing decisions!! This was a game where we were reunited with "Keep it on the island son" his father a legend until his death some years ago.

We went into a 1-0 lead through Craig Phillips and then it went horribly
wrong,with Lymington going into a 2-1 lead,the second goal coming from a fat bloke who will never hit a shot like it in his lifetime! Wes gave away a penalty,and we could quite easily of had two but there we go it was one of those days.

We equalised through Andy Farley then lost the lead to lose 3-2. On another day this game could have gone the other way.

PS Sorry if the report is wrong but I was so pissed off it's taken me this
long to write it!

White Heather Hornets 0 Ferndown Colts 3
February 5th 2006. League Division 8


This was what can only be described as a shit performance! End of!
 
12 Feb 2006
 

Masons and Mariners 2 - White Heather Hornets 5
12/03/06

Dorset Minor Cup Semi-Final

I was wondering whilst travelling to Redlands on Sunday morning what sort of a state the Mighty Hornets were going to be in after there previous showing against AFC Hewitt which was definitely a day to forget! My thoughts were further compounded by the fact that "The Hair" or should he now be known as "The Hairdresser" was drinking Baileys at 4.30am. The town of Weymouth was taken by storm and as Masons and Mariners were on somewhat of a high I feared the worse.

We kicked off on a bitterly cold day with the wind in our favour but somehow in the 1st minute managed to stand still in our own area and watch the Masons forward control the ball on his chest and volley into the roof of the net. 1-0 down! This I thought was the shape of things to come, but how wrong I was! We managed to equalise after 7 minutes through a Chris Hillman header. I was hoping to go into half-time with some sort of lead as we were playing with a strong wind.

After 28 minutes we were awarded a penalty (after the centre back almost carried the ball out of the penalty box) which Rich Newman duly dispatched to put us 2-1 up, then after 36 minutes, Craig Phillips scored the goal of the season which was described on the Mason's website as a cross - MY ARSE! It curled like nothing I've ever seen before!

We went into half-time 3-1 up. After half time we conceded a penalty after 51 minutes which I couldn't really see why it was given but there we go. We were only 3-2 up. Shortly afterwards Rob Fox was introduced to the game even though he has a wonky knee and amazingly after 63 minutes he ran two thirds of the pitch and scored probably what was the games most important goal as it put us 4-2 up. Then three minutes later Mr Fox scored again which put the game beyond doubt. After the 5th goal we weren't really threatened and progressed to the Final.

Good luck boys and what a performance!